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Growing a Successful Child
Success means different things to different people, so each family should
think about what it means to them. To most, it implies happiness; self-respect;
and certain comforts of life, such as a close family, a safe, warm place to
live, enough money and food, and good health. Doing well and enjoying school and
work is important, as is the absence of bad experiences, such as addiction,
illness, or failure in school, on the job or in personal relationships.
To help a child become successful, families must keep in mind what they want
for the child, and provide the building blocks. This means creating a home that
helps the child to discover his own strengths, learn good and bad, and build on
his own strengths as he grows up.
As parents and friends, we can do many things to help grow a successful child.
First, we need to help the baby's brain and body develop as quickly and healthy
as possible.
First Year: Offer the Baby Security
A baby needs to feel secure at all times and to learn that consistent,
responsive caregivers are always available. Creating a home that is quiet, safe
and one in which parents are involved with their baby will provide the most
nurturing environment. Provide consistent, "quality" personal attention, such as
holding and talking directly to the baby. Wait for a response from the baby.
That will help your child in developing essential parts of the brain. Television
should not be considered a substitute for human contact. Respond promptly to the
baby's needs. Spoiling is not a worry in the first 9 to 12 months of life. Do
not let the baby experience tension, arguments or violence.
Second and Subsequent Years
It is essential for parents to provide a safe and consistent environment for the
child.
Allow children to explore: It is important that children be in an environment
where they can discover things for themselves. It is more difficult for parents
to allow children to explore and learn for themselves than to take over and
teach them, but that is what must be done.
To help you to do this: Make sure the places that children play, learn, and go
to school are safe and stimulating, and then let them explore on their own.
Remember that exploring, making a mess, and feeling gooey things are
all-important ways for toddlers to discover the world.
Teach Your Children
Parents must teach children how to learn most effectively; to finish what they
start; to try to understand why and how something works or happens; and to
complete essentials first before they do anything else. After that point,
parents must encourage children to learn on their own. It is hard to watch
children fall or fail, but they do get up and are more experienced the next
time. Children are interested in different toys at different ages. Try to figure
out "where they are" and provide good, safe toys for each stage. For instance,
most babies at their first birthday prefer things that make noise (like pots and
pans, a telephone, and crinkly paper) and may pay no attention to fancy toys.
Provide Consistency and Encourage Repetition
Consistency is an essential component for learning, as it teaches cause and
effect. Children learn quickly if the same result follows every time they
perform a certain action. Repetition is also a key aspect in children's
learning, whether it be language, homework, or baseball. Playing repetitive
games, or asking for the same books to be read or songs to be sung over and over
again, can sometimes frustrate the parents, but it's an important learning
mechanism for children.
Use Positive Reinforcement and Discipline
Positive reinforcement, such as praise or rewards, is much more effective than
negative reinforcement like punishment. Children are self-centered, independent
and manipulative, and they will do almost anything to get something they want.
This is why rewards for good behavior are such effective tools for parents.
Discipline is also a form of learning; therefore, a consistent response is
critical. Praise each good action while identifying bad behavior as unacceptable
and providing alternative suggestions. Administer "Time Outs" as a form of
discipline to calm a child who is yelling or hitting in order to get attention.
Instill Values
Parents need to identify those traits most important to them, such as honesty,
respect for others, and perseverance, and consistently send the same messages
about these issues to their children, no matter what the circumstances. Children
will watch and learn from the actions of parents and friends. Do not use the
phrase, "Do as I say, not as I do." Children will learn more by watching the
actions of parents and friends than by hearing these words. Do not hit a child.
If a child is hit by a grown-up, he or she will see it as acceptable, and will
start hitting others.
Encourage Learning From Various Sources
Children will learn values from parents as well as from other sources, such as
books and television. Parents should let children see you doing what you are
good at and proud of, and help them learn those same activities. Determine other
skills they may have and work on these together. Read stories to them and talk
about them afterwards. Control and limit television watching. Television may
seem like a good baby-sitter, but remember that children will do what they see
done. Talk about what they see, and help them judge what's right and what's
wrong.
Praise Your Child
Kids desperately need self-respect, and it is the job of parents to find and
reinforce good qualities and abilities with praise. Whenever children are good
at something, can show it off and receive praise and admiration, this teaches
success, and reinforces their own sense of worth. There are endless
possibilities for the success of a child, but parents are the most crucial
enablers of the process. At times, it is an active job, and at other times, it
is crucial to stay back and just watch.
For More Information Contact:
Carousel Corner Preschool and Childcare Center
5345 Carousel Lane SE, Port Orchard, WA 98366-3800
Tel: 360-871-7572
FAX: 360
Internet:
info@carouselcorner.org
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